What is really love?
It depends of what kind of love we are talking about. In truth there is only one kind of love, but in this planet there is a great deal of distortion and confusion so we will endeavour to clarify some of it.
Conditional love and sexual attraction
Let's talk about the most common kind of love that we come across, Conditional Love, that means that I love you if you do this or that for me, or if you fulfil my personal and distorted pattern of what a loved one should do for me. Or what many say, “If you love me you will do…”
I know you are going to ask what a distorted pattern is, and that we haven’t discussed the matter yet, but let us say that a distorted pattern is a concept or idea that has been created or learned by the lower self. Being the lower self what it is we won’t be wrong if we say that it is hot air or wishful thinking.
Let’s say, that when you were 7 years old you went to the movies and you saw a romantic scene, and your lower self felt all wobbly and said ooh! How nice, and there you have it, a distorted pattern of reality. Basically your lower self takes that image and collects it together with all others that has accumulated as you grow and forms an “ideal” of what it wants its life to be.
These totally unrealistic aspirations lack the direction and purpose of your Soul, and also are unattainable and will cause you rather a lot of pain.
In other words, because you saw that movie you will be looking for a meaningful other, and we will come back to this point later, which looks maybe like the man or woman in the screen, and you will try to recreate that feeling and you may successfully come to that point but what happens after?
Have you thought about the practicalities of sharing time together, on whether you have things in common, or if you have a synergy in the way you work, do you know if you are speaking the same language? Yes language and that does not mean foreign language. It means that you may have totally different ideas about how life should be, and that is a recipe for trouble.
Of course, we mustn’t forget physical or sexual attraction, which chemically is like a kind of madness because your body releases certain hormones that blind your veiled vision even more. This is only for the procreation of the species, it means that genetically you are compatible, and has a cunning way to present itself. We have already mentioned that reality is what you want to see because we reflect to each other what we need to learn. When you fall in lust (mistakenly called falling in love) you mirror the best of yourself to the other and of course we all love to see the best of ourselves don’t we? And sometimes there is a little of the soul reflected there too.
After you have had sex all fades away, the illusion is over and reality sets in and you ask yourself: “what on earth was I thinking?” How she/he has changed…and the power struggle begins. There wasn't change, you were blinded by your hormones and if you don’t have things in common you are just going to struggle.
Meaningful others in our life are normally souls with whom we are travelling for a long time and have agreed to facilitate for us some lessons that we are interested in learning through the path of struggle. This is the way life normally happens and “love” is misunderstood in this planet.
Plainly it isn’t love it is a quid pro quo and relations for the purpose of procreation or to have animal satisfaction of our overexcited desires.
Add to that the fact that most of us are “incomplete” in the sense that we do not know ourselves, have no contact with our souls to give a real sense of meaning and connectedness, and we are looking for somebody to “complete” us. What a ridiculous thing to aspire. If you don’t have love inside yourself, how are you going to recognize it? Can a man who has a predominantly hateful attitude recognize love? No. If you haven't realised that experience inside yourself, you can not get it from others, however much that they may want to give that experience to you.
In other words, to love, you have to recognize that you are love and have a loving attitude inside yourself. To be loved you have to be open to receive and believe you deserve to be loved.
I know it is a difficult concept to grasp because you may say how can I understand this love I have inside myself? Only by experiencing love from your source, soul or spirit you will be able to understand the true meaning of love.
Same applies to the rules and regulations regarding marriage and families, that society has created to “protect” women and children and don’t protect anything other than the status quo, and enslave people to be tied together with unwanted partners curtailing their freedom. It is not love; it is regulations regarding the use and distribution of money.
Nobody is advocating irresponsibility here but, what does not come naturally will not work and only creates more problems and aggravation.
Unconditional Love
We all dream of it, novels, songs and plays have been written about it and yet nobody can give you a straight definition of what it is and how you can recognize it.
Unconditional love is a vibration that resonates all throught the cosmos, the creation, our universe and all universes. It is GOD or All that Is. It is the raw material of EVERYTHING that exists, existed and will exist.
Unconditional love is the malleable force behind every particle; it extends from the smallest to the biggest.
The air around you is filled with unconditional love, which is one of the ways GOD is everywhere inside and outside you. Try some conscious breathing when you feel sad and lonely and experience the miracle by yourself.
Every particle, atom, cell in your physical body is filled with the vibration of unconditional love. And what can be more unconditional than that, cells work for us, keep our body together and we never say thanks do we? Think about your cells and get to know them and share their love. It is truly a very moving experience.
Unconditional love is what your soul gives you liberally when you finally decide to go inwards and work with it. And gosh, it is so incredible, so beautiful and so indescribable! It is a kind of feeling that when you have felt it once you have to have more and you find out that nothing in this planet of illusion can really measure up to that.
And the love of the Masters, like Lord Sananda, Lady Nada and the Divine Mother. A vibration of true ecstasy that will lift you to the light just by calling their names.
We can not “fall in love” we are love, we just need to accept that and look for it in the temple of our own hearts where all that the universe is resides in potential.
You will say that is unattainable but it is not true. It takes work and commitment to rid yourself of the darkness within, and work integrating the personality as we have explained before, and surrendering to your real master, your beautiful and immortal soul.
Once you are prepared to let go of the illusion and pain of this world, it is really easy if you follow the advice we are giving to you. Try it, experiment, be an explorer of the inner planes. The rewards are worth a king’s ransom.
Is there any hope to have a harmonious and loving relationship with another in this planet? A sort of romantic relationship?
Until we accept that this planet is a school and we change our frame of mind, third dimensional relationships can be very difficult and trying. If you shift from the lower self to the perspective of the Soul, all is love so there is no reason for disharmony.
Relationships have the purpose of helping us grow and learn the lessons we have chosen. We can do that by struggle, that is the common way or, we can constantly draw from within, from where our Higher Self and Soul are, from the heart and grow in cooperation or grow with joy.
How to relate to others is a long subject. We could write books about it but will give guidelines today on some attitudes that may make interacting with meaningful others a little less difficult. But please, they are only guidelines and you must endeavour to find your own inner answers.
1) Know yourself, work on observing yourself and learn your reactions and the reasons for the patterns behind them. Work at upgrading your thought patterns and integrating your personality.
2) Accept that what you see projected by your meaningful other is not about the other making changes, it is about you getting a mirror image of that what is dark in you, needs addressing and more light. So no excuse for fights and blaming the other for the things that don’t work in your life.
3) Have no expectations. Expectations are like false thought patterns that we have learned with the development of our personalities. They are distorted and oppressive because you can not “box” people.
4) Compromise but only to the point that you are comfortable with and don’t force your hand. If the other is reluctant find another solution.
5) Give more. Unconditional love is infinite so the more you give the more you will receive. Open your heart to receive love.
6) Forgive first. Be the first to forgive and forget we all make mistakes. Once you have forgiven forget. Don’t keep a tally of past mistakes.
7) Do your homework. Before you commit to a relationship know the other and get the other to know you, don’t hold back; if you do, you will pay a high price later. Do numerology, astrology, whatever it takes to know the patterns of the other so you know where you are and whether you can live with your partner’s shortcomings and vice versa.
8) Don’t try to change the other, change yourself. People don’t change if they are not ready. If you have changed so much that the relationship doesn’t work anymore, leave.
9) Find somebody that share your core beliefs otherwise it won’t work, love doesn’t “fix” shortcomings you have to do it yourself by shifting consciousness.
10) Be responsible. Honour your commitments and promises.
11) Discuss the main issues of a relationship before hand, like money, housework, sex, children etc. Before you move together not after.
12) Accept that we are all free as souls are. That we are here to grow and experiment. That this is a wonderful journey and that once we have nothing to give to the other your experiences together are over. That is the moment to move on so don’t get attached.
13) If you are upset go to another room and cool down, don’t ever speak and say something that you will regret the next day.
14) Give more importance to the spiritual goals rather than the material goals.
15) Don’t lose the life you have created and the projects you have. It is important to be yourself and you have to let the other do the same. It is a partnership of equals.
16) Trust and be truthful, after all, if you love unconditionally you can trust the universe and know that the outcome will be the highest possible but not necessarily what you “expect”.
17) A relationship is like a new garden, you have to start somewhere and little by little build in more. It needs time, patience, watering, feeding, planting, researching, dedication and learning from your mistakes. Sometimes the plagues can come in and create much devastation and you need to deal with that too. A garden is never perfect, there is always something that can be done so don’t neglect it.
18) Never take anybody for granted. Appreciate what is given to you, say thank you often
19) If you have differences, stick to the facts and be detached when you analyze them. Put your emotions on hold, if necessary write down what you want and ask the other to do the same. You will be surprise to find out how close together the things that you want are and how perceptions distort the nature of reality.
20) Avoid “what ifs” at all costs; they come from underlying fears not from true facts. Otherwise you will create inexistent shadows of inexistent events that never happened but that can destroy a relationship.
The more you are in synergy with the other the more you will be able to support each other’s spiritual growth and give encouragement, but do remember that you are together to help each other grow so accept that there will be some pain.
The one that love’s you will set you free and will be prepared to give its life for you. Can you love like that?
Can you love accepting only this moment and forgetting the past or the future? Accepting that life in the third dimension is temporary and that what it is important is the journey, the depth of the journey, its colour, its sound, its smell, its taste?
The deepest love relationship you can have is with your soul and you I AM presence. They are the only immortal ones. Through your soul and Christ consciousness you relate to the oneness of the universe, to All That Is; you reach all that is known and all that is there, what else could one want?